Colonic Humor

Massage and Colon Hydrotherapy

Massage By Chad 1364 W. 600 S. , SLC UT 84104
Phone: 801-366-9544

Colonic Humor

Life can be so serious most of the time. I hope you can laugh a little at my sense of humor. If not then you are definitely in need of a colonic! Don't think about it just book online right now! ;-)

If this is what you do most of the day, then it's definitely time for a colonic!

What Kind Of Farter Are You?

Vain: You love the smell of your own farts.
Amiable: You love the smell of other people's farts.
Proud: You think your farts are exceptionally fine.
Shy: You release silent farts and then blush.
Impudent: You boldly fart out loud and then laugh.
Unfortunate: You try really hard to fart, but you poop instead.
Scientific: You fart regularly but you're concerned about pollution.
Nervous: You stop in the middle of your fart.
Honest: You admit that you farted but offer good medical reasons.
Dishonest: You fart and then blame the dog.
Foolish: You suppress your farts for hours.
Thrifty: You always keep a couple of good farts in reserve.
Anti-Social: When the need arises, you excuse yourself from the room and fart in private.
Strategic: You fart and then conceal it with loud coughing.
Sadistic: You fart in bed and then pull the cover up over your partner's head.
Intellectual: You can determine from the smell of any fart exactly what food item had been consumed.
Athletic: You fart at the slightest exertion.
Miserable: You would love to let one out, but you are unable to fart.
Sensitive: You fart and then start crying.

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
     Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."
     Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."
     Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
    The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
    Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Good Lord, are you still in there?!"

Submitted by CZ

Turn On Your Light!

Colonic Salt Lake City, Utah health through a colonic, enema, and colonics, high enema, colon hydrotherapy, colonic irrigation, or colon irrigation will detoxify and cleanse toxins for the colon. Stress in Salt Lake City, Ogden, Bountiful, Provo, Park City, Tooele, Layton, Brigham City, and Logan, UT (Utah) are increasing rates of IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. InnerLight Massage and Colon Hydrotherapy massage, as certified colon hydrotherapists offer leading edge and alternative detoxification and pre / post surgery techniques to help support medical needs through detox cleansing, intestinal fortitude support, parasite cleanses, and more. Areas of focus include colitis, bloating, gas, flatulence, crohn's disease, colon cancer, cancer, breast cancer, lung cancer, cervical cancer, bone cancer, tumors, fasting, and liver, gallbladder, pancreas, bile, abdomen, abdominal, intestine, intestines, intestinal, parasite, parasites, parasitic, toxin, toxic, raw, food, raw food, and mucus. Massage Salt Lake City, Utah relaxation through Swedish Massage, Deep-tissue Massage, Reflexology, Neuro-muscular massage, shiatsu, and accupressure. Massage by Chad helps to increase range of motion in joints, decrease back pain, knee pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, and headaches.